Updates since treatment

Wow, sorry everyone. im completley done with treatment, im sorry i totally forgot to update this... so yeah. i ended treatment, and went out for dinner with my friends at crave restaurant. Now this is the interesting part... you would think i would be completely done with all my health issues... Guess not, when i went to the follow up appt they had mentioned my TSH levels were elevated, .... so i had to go get a retest a month later... Its all good now. But heres the real interesting story, i spent my tuesday night/wednesday morning in the ER.

So I was in my ambulance operations class and I started to feel really sick to my stomach, so I stood up and started getting dizzy and my heart rate skyrocketed, so I went to the bathroom and got some cold water on my face, and then still felt my heart speeding up so I went into the classroom to get my purse and keys to tell them I wasn't feeling well, and right when I stood still for a second, one of my instructors saw my face turn extremely pale and was walking towards me to sit me down and I collapsed to the floor before he got there, I was unconscious for 3 minutes, the ambulance was called, so was my mom, my mom ended up transporting me to the ER, where they immediately put me on morphine , when I was on the morphine I started to wake up and stuff, they got an IV in , and took a bunch of ultra sounds and urine samples and all the works. ... the morphine didn't help the pain though, so they ended up giving me dilidad or something.. and I started shaking uncontrollably, I could still talk at that point but I was shaking, so they gave me some Benadryl to try and slow the shaking, that worked for like 15 minutes after that, I went uncscious again and didn't wake up until I was just leaving my room for another chest x-ray, they told me I was having mini seizures,but they werent epileptic.. so after the chest x-ray, I still couldn't talk to let them know I could hear them, but I could, but my eyes were fluttering non stop so the doctors came in an did 3 sternal rubs on me , and I could feel them , but I couldn't let them know to stop because I felt completely paralyzed, after that they gave me ativan, which knocked me out right there. I ended up waking up about 5 hours later in the hospital, they then told me to contact my GI doctor because they couldn't find anything, so then we contacted my GI doctor, and they told me its really strange for me to have pain in my "liver" because they said that's not possible, so now they think it might be something cardiac related so now i went to the doctors today to get checked out and

Nothing really fun happened, he felt around my abdomen and I showed him exactly where it hurts, and he said he thinks maybe my liver is enlarged, or that my lung could be enlarged so that its pressing against the outside lining of my liver, he said it could also be signs of "walking pneumonia" .. ?he also said maybe its something abdomonal he said maybe something is going on in my colon that wraps around the liver, , so has really not entirely sure, so... I guess im just waiting for results, basically he narrowed it down to maybe a cardiac, respiratory, or abdominal problem. ... real grand huh?... so we technically have no clue what's going on, he took my temp and I have a fever today, I had one yesterday as well. I also experienced while I was at the doctors one of my "hot flash" episodes, so he saw me get really flushed in the face and all that stuff, he saw my heart rate sky rocket and stuff, but it wasn't from pain?. it just happened. so we are all in the diches right now to what's actually going on.

I will try to remember to update this more often again. haha

Updates-16 DAY COUNTDOWN

YESS!!
only 16 days left!!!!!!!!!
IM SO EXCITED, holy crap,
I dont know what ill do on my last day...
I do have a doctors on the... 27th, and then another follow up in november ... then i go in regularly for liver function tests and crap
Im so excited, but i in all honesty have felt like shit lately, but i dont think its all treatment symtoms, mostly just common cold, but it feels like it hits like 8x harder.
I will try to do ONE HUGE BLOG with the results of my past months blood results as soon as i get around to it :D
Im just so happy i had the support from so many people during the whole thing, All my new friends at inver that know about it have been awesome, all my family members, all my friends from sibley, poeple on facebook who are dealing wiht the same thing, its just crazy, i never thought id get so much support so i couldnt thank anyone enough, I have been through the biggest rollercoaster any 17/18 year old should honestly have to go through, and its just crazy that i made it out in general "healthy".
Ive been told by so many people including my teachers that I dont act like im sick or anything, and i love hearing that because i think it shows that i wont let this beat me down or anything, I dont try to let it affect my day to day life, otherwise if i did, i woulndt be in school, i would have lost my jobs, i would be in a hospital bed if i let it consume me, instead i tried to learn everything i could about my situation and grow from it..
Now all i want to odo is help others who are going through the same things i went through

Anyways, I guess ill update later again as sson as i pull out those blood results.

College Life

Sorry its been another month since ive updated
Cant believe how busy ive been
Health wise- everythings good so far..
My last day of treatment is October 28th..
so that means about a month and a half leftttt
omggg YES!?!
My treatment in general is good.. i still get my weekend sickness from my loverly chemo.
But im normally back to normal on mondays. I have my bad days some times
I try to tough that out though, make it look like its nothing,
Have had a bad headache for the past 3 days though.
Im not overdosing my tylenol anymore, barley even rely on it anymore, WOO HOO! im not longer an addict.haha
College is good, Met some awesomeee people, love the paramedic stuff, Got my EMT in august, etc etc.
Very busy, still working my both jobs, got a great recommendation, did an internship with tria orthapedicsss
Ummm super busy with homework...
what else...
going to throw a big bash for my end of treatment probably.
Got a new 2005 Ford Taurus - Shes Black and her name is Cora.
:)

Well thats all for now, Ill update later probably.

August stuf

So i thought id give you all an inside on whats been going on.
Ive had some depression issues lately, i really have been. I had my doctors on thursday? and that did not go well. the NP didnt really even care. Gina Stores.. I just.i told her everything tha twas wrong, and how i take tylenol and ibuprofun etc etc and nothing helps and all she says is she doesnt know. so she barley took the time to talk to me, and she almost seemed mad at me or something, and like she didnt believe me at all. i wanted to turn around and tell her to walk in my shoes. and see how she feels when she cant drive the day after treatment because her joints hurt so bad she cant even lift her arms for the steering wheel. Idk. so that wasnt a good expierence.
I dont know what my viral load is, i dont know if i have to do another year of treatment or not, i dont know anything. they arent telling me or my mom. So my mom is going to make a big phone cal lon friday when she ahs time because we are always on hold of some sort...
What else... social life wise- not good. Ive been feeling really down these past couple weeks, and i just dont want to deal with my every day to day drama so i sort of snapped a couple nights ago on some people. and i dont regret it . but i just cant wait to start new and fresh at college and stuff.

Today sickwise-
my liver was really painful lol, and my hair is bugging me still and my eyes get blurred vision still and ive been getting the hot flashes again along with all the other flu like symptoms, thank god ive been timing them out so i sleep most of the really crappy stuff off, but sometimes ill still get the chest pain or whatever.

*SIGH*
well i guess il lupdate again later.

updates.

Heyo. So like... 94 days left :D I have a big doctors appt. on thursday, but its mostly going to be with the nurse practitioner, my specialist MIGHT not be in at that clinic that day. Other than that... Ive been feeling like crap again lately, I have my good days, which are normally like 1-2 days during the week, it happened to be the weekend this time, thank gosh, i did my injections last night- all went well, my skin is getting tougher and tougher to put the needle through etc. etc. I feel like crap today and really want tylenol, but i really have been trying to stop, REALLY have been trying to stay off of it. I havent taken it for like a week, and i really notice a difference- as in I FEEL LIKE SHIT. but yeah i thought id give a cute little shout out to the people that really have stood by myside, or have really listened to what ive had to say.. like just you know. the people that have helped me through this whole expierence My mom My doctors- and nurses Mike and Cathy All the HepC network- Rob, Shirley, Danielle S., Carol, all of you in that group you know who you are... Childrens Hospital- and radiology unit My family- Amanda, Bon -and fam, Zettles, texan cousins- carol-marty and kids. Jake E. Jake Z. Shane Sam H Anna L. (and her mom) Laura D- and the fam( her momzie) Katrina Mr. Killian- (my adv. bio teach)-and my other sweet teachers that know about it- and some others... Really.. like even if you dont know whats going on, its just nice to tell people whats been going on, lately it just seems if i try to tell someone something thats going on they dont care-or they dont know what to say- which is what it was like in the begining- its just weird ? I know if i was in the position too.. its hard. Honestly the only people that really REALLY help , are hte ones that just listen, and th eones that have been through what i have been going through, the network- i really have taken in advice from each and every one of you, Its hard for me to update things alot so i msorry im not always posting things. Right now im a little yellow and my liver area- has been hurting since.. like 3 weeks now, my eyes are really sore, and maybe im just tired. Its been getting harder for me to breathe this weekend too, ill have shooting chest pains in the middle, and then i can get lower back pains as well and no. not for that time of the month thank you very much. its all weird, and complicated, i hope this doctors appoitment will have some answers... ............... I just cant wait till im done ... with all of this... I refuse to do another year of treatment if i had to... I dont htink i do.. but .. if it came up....i wouldnt... this year ... has really been a rollercoaster ride,,.. not a fun one either...anyways... i guess ill go to bed now .

100 Day countdown!!!

YES!
only 100 days left of treatment!!!!!!
AHHH!!!!!!
omg.
thank god.
just thought id update!
haha
nothing much has been going on... But i cant believe only 100 days left.
I cant believe its almost been a whole year since i started everything. holy shittts.
In about 2 weeks from this date it will have been the first day of when everything happend.... Donating blood... my anniversary is coming soon.
DAMNS

alright. well My hair continues to fall out. cool beans.

I still continue to feel like dog poo.
But ill get through it all... I have to.

Fever

Hey everyone
Okay, so some updates-
yesterday i had a doctors appoitment just a physical and some immunizations
hep a booster, tetnus, meningitis, and a PPD test. so today i woke up at like.. 7 because i had an eye doctors appt today but i woke up with a realy high fever, and it lasted the whole day- i still have it now, but i could barley function today...
It seems im getting worse and worse by the day... and it sucks because starting tomarrow i work at the nursing home for almost 24 hours this weekend... so im gong to be so tired, and i hope that i sleep well tonight.. i may or may not go to emt tomarrow morning.. idont want to .. i want to sleep in.... i honestly really need it.
Ive been trying to ween myself off the tylenol.. idk if i talked about htat but im honestly addicted..
a couple nights ago i took 12 tylenol PMs, and it lasted for a day and a half..
I was taking atleast..10-20 tylenols a day... and i think its all catching up to me now..
Idont know..
but i feel like absolute crap latley. i cant really eat anything either, everything makes me want to throw up..i only had some ice cream today. haha iknow real healthy. but it was my moms birthday today. so yeah.
idk
Well...
i should be getting my blood tests in the mail really soon i really should find these last couple weeks and post my results see how bad theyve gotton.
alright
well i mgoing to bed now.. still with a fever..
<3

Updates/Depressed

Hey Everyone
Ive been thinking about what to post on here.
So updates again, Started my new job, i love it, but its very exhausting!!!!
I saw My Sisters Keeper today, its the movie with the leukemia patient ,.. i abouts balllllled my eyes out. Then i had to say goodbye to Elodie she was a foreign exchange student, so that brought tears to my eyes. Then i was just htinking how all the exchange students are all gone now.. back home... its just hard for me because i got close to so many of them... Then ithought about Yulia from last year and started crying i miss her so much. I miss polina too ...
Health wise.. eh its okay. Nothing new, nothing better, nothing worse. Waiting for my doctor to call me back... still.....Probably having liver failure due to me overdosing my tylenol, but its the only medicine that gets me through the day. i know its bad, and i think im honestly addicted to it... I take way to many, and i can tell when i do and dont take it. I depend on tylenol.
Anyways, Im in a depressed mood right now, who knows why. but sooner or later it will get better ,starting thursday will be an exciting weekend, I work taste of MN with the EMT's, then friday ihave EMT class again, then saturday i will be upnorth helping my grandma and grandpa, (ill) and having fun with my family since i never freaking see them, then coming back later sunday afternoon then i am working the No doubt concert at night with EMT. then back to EMT on monday :) haha. It will be another busy week. Not to mention my car doesnt like me. So we are trying to find a new car for a good deal etc. but w.e... Idk. i should be getting to sleep.

*Sigh,....*
Night

.. OH!! my hair extensions should be coming soon :)))) I feel really pathetic honestly ... that i bought them, and im almost embarrsssed to wear them... but theres a part of me that like.. loves them and like .. it makes me feel like a normal person again, and then the other part is i dont want my friends to pull them out and shit, or w.e the case may be.. im just embarrsed.. i guess.... I dont want anyone to judge me because of them... so idk...but having them in to myself is fun, It makes me feel better etc. etc. More feminine.. i hoping it helps the balding..
Its really getting bad... like... i have to wash my hair every single day because my medicine makes my hair really gross right? but everytime i shower clumps of hair come out... And ive talked to other patients with the same thing i do.... and they all say the same thing i am.. like the girls atleast.. we all bought extensions... are we pathetic or not...Idk... they should be here tomarrow or so though..

I want treatment to be done... Im sick of it taking over my life. :/

Hair Extension

So today i went to the mall- on a search for hair ideas because my hair keeps falling out and its really getting to me, I feel as if ive lost all feminity- So anyways i went to the booth and the lady put in clip on-s that i can leave in and stuff, they looked so amamzing and everything and i was telling the lady how im on treatment and all that stuff and she was like //....I will give you a really big discount for what your going through and for being so young, i almots cried, the original price was over 500$
she then knocked the price down to 300 for me. But i still coundlt afford it, but when she was taking them out i wanted to just run with them in because it had been so long since ive had long hair and thick hair that it made me also just want to cry. but anyways i came home and found the exact same extensions online same color same everything for only 115$ , I bought them right away.
So ill be having long hair again really soon!
I am excited!
Health wise-
I felt like barfing today, and it was totally that time of the month of pooping out a uterus so everything was painful today haha. plus i was tired and my joints hurt, and im still recovering from the treatment from friday ,...
I have my EMT class tomarrow morning at 8. I am tired. So i will go to bed now. Tootles.

LONG TIME

Hey EVERYONE!!
Sorry its been forever
lets see what has been going on since april!!!
May- I had prom, and graduated from highschool, got my CNA,
June- Got a job as a CNA, started my EMT class, and have been working working working, and then having time for my really good friends.
ILLNESS UPDATES
well, i was fine in april and may- June has been hard, i think its because im just passing my halfway mark through treatment, today actually sucked i was yellow for a little bit
I was put BACK on the Chronic Kidney Disease patient list or w.e
My liver is crap
I think im addicted to pain killers, and im really not kidding
I have a big doctors appoitnemtn coming up whenver he calls me back
I have a lab apoitnement once a week still because my lab results are always messed up
they have to change my meds constintly
My stomach has formed like a tougher skin around it where i like to inject so its harder to get a needle in and it starts to hurt now, so idk what im gonna do, whenever i do it in my leg it hurts like a bia, and the side effects are 10x worse

My cousin that lived with us for a long time.moved out in early june
I get to work the No doubt concert for my EMT class as a EMT student.
Im really ex cited
I start training for my new job on wednesday.
Uh what else, Tomarrow i will try to dig out my lab tests and put the numbers on here.
again sorry for no updates in forever and a day.

Ill try to update more because my condition seems to have gone down hill again. haha
i was doing fine for almost two months!!! :DDDD

I will hold a big ass party/Dinner my last day of treatment. October 28th
Still counting down!!!! :)

Meh

Sorry i took forever to update again
So i had my doctors on thursday-
not much went down, he is sorta dumbfounded by all my joint pains, he isnt sure where its all coming from , and he is suprised how distinguished it is, so he took some extra blood tests to see if any weird levels of stuff were up or down. Um
other than that... same ol same ol; still feeling crappy.
still freaking about college
bones are hurting badl
tired/headache
i notice when i get headaches my face especially cheeks get reallly red/hot.
and i get dizzy.
tomarrow i have a senior late start as well as wednesday- but i have to drive the girls to school for their classes but mine still have late start- then thursday i miss the whole day to tour winona university
woop woop.
then friday is a normal day.. greatttt.
but yeah.
ill soon have my blood tests in the mail.. prolly tomarrow or wednesday..
i have a long day tomarrow..
orchestra in the morning .. but im not gonna go anymore... then orchestra from 5:45-9:30-....
ugh
atleas ti dont have actual orchestra the class tomarrow due to the senior scheduling,.
woop
eh anyways.
ill update as soon as i find out more i guess.
just waiting for the results.

Future

So eh
Hey everyone
sorry its been like forever.
not much has been happening.
Just conintuning on with the mediciation
which i feel like it hasnt been making me ...horribly actually physically sick anymore, but its been messing with my actual organs /joints and everything now, im actually in pain alot of the days.
Since im always like in pain ive become really irritable and really bitchy, and i dont really want to deal with anyone much anymore. I wouldnt say im depressed, or anything but more.. bipolar.
haha i feel bad for saying that but i guess maybe thats what it is?
Im so stressed with my future too. Im really upset to know that my mom wants me to stay home one more year and just go to the community college for 1 year of generals because it might be to hard for me to go away if im still on treatment, which im on until october 28th but the side effects can last up to 6 months afterwards. thats how long it takes everything to flush my system .
So im not really happy about that i really wanted to the 4 year dorm expierence, but maybe this is how im supposed to do it, even if its not what i want. In all honesty sometimes i dont know what i want. I know i want to go into nursing, oncology would be nice. But its like im always stuck in a rut or something is always just blocking me toget there.
idk
ugh
anyways i have a doctors appointment on thursday.
This week is spring breka and i work today from 6-10:30
tomarrow and thursday from 3-10:30
friday from 3-:6:30
and saturday from 2-7

so i will be making so much money, which i need to pay back my mom for car insurance. i wish that was going into my wallet but w.e
alright ill update on thursday if i have time to tell how the doctors goes

Sick still.

For some crazy reason i decided to take my treatment on a wednesday? haha.
um
so yeah today im not feeling good at alllll
i had a doctors appt. and they got my vein the first time!! wooo!
She even used the big people needle on me!.
Well i got home from school and took a 3 hour nap, i woke up to a horrible stomach ache
Actually when i was injecting yesterday it was really weird.
I tried to push the needle in, and it was like hard, its never like.. hard to do that. When i pushed it in the first time it only went a little tiny bit, its like i could feel it go threw every single layer of my skin, so then i took it out and tried gaain on the other side (clean needle no worries)- and it did the same thing, so then i just counted to three and pushed reallly hard, and it like its like i was sticking a needle threw a balloon?. Hard then BOOM its in? it was just really abnormal.
so im sorta iffy about that whole situation? So yeah my stomach is killing right now and everything, im debating weather to work out tonight or not, i dont really want to stop working out just for feeling sick because i dont want to loose what ive gained so far or w.e
idk
ugh
this sucks.

ehh

No interesting updates.
still feeling sick.
plus i have a cold.
and my skin is still horribly itchy even with lotion.
ughhh i could itch till i bled if i wanted.

Sick still

Yeah im coming down with some other stuff too .
I have a sore throat, lymph nodes are swollen, stomach ache STILL. and yeah
not feeling good at all..
these have not been a good month and a half?

idk ugh .
being sick sucks
and my hair is realllly starting to get thin.. like really thin,p
alot more ppl are noticing it as well

sick

yeah im sick go figure.
im so tired.
My cheeks are flushed red.
and i can barley open my eyes right now.

i really dont feel good
and i want it to just end....everything i want everything to end.

idk. today was a bad day... horrible day actually.

Tired

Ughhh Home from a longgggg dayyyy
i spent almost 8 hours with the cello today
it was stressful
Im horribly tired still
like. ive never been so tired in my life and it says something when like everyone asks "did you get enough sleep?"
haha
ughhhh i really feel like curling up in a little ball and sleeping for days.
like days would do me good.
Lent starts tomarrow and i decided to give up pop.
alright. well.
my stomach really hurts right now.
and i can barley keep my eyes open oh. which btw, i was reading music today and i started getting blurred vision... ill have to let the doctor know that asaps.
lol
ughhhh

Eh updates

So i have been dreadfully tired this past week
Like.. okay
saturday i slept for 14 hours.. and i still felt horribly tired,
Sunday i had my spanish concert for MVO and i thought i was going to pass out because i was so tired. I feel like im having problems regulating my sugars. haha. Like i get sooooo tired. and then ill drink lemonade and then i will feel a little better or something.
Idk.
But w.e Im still horribly tired, and my stomach is stil upset..
really.. it hasnt stopped being...upset since... christmas eve..
like its been a non stop stomach ache lol.
ugh.
alright
well.
i should be getting results back from last wednesdays tests pretty soon here....mk. im gonna probably head back to bed now.

Updates

Alright
So
I had a doctors appt. today at the eagan location
i went there feeling reeeeeaaaly faint, and the lady noticed it, she said i was dehydrated
so w.e
so then got my blood taken etc.
took her 3 pokes again :p
oh well
i still love my nurse
Anyways,
Ill find out those results on fridayyy
and weve been getting calls off the end today about stuff going on with my blood blah blah
the pills im on are a "potential cancer -causing agent"
um
my white blood cell count like i said before.. is crappy
my red blood cells are still acting up whih is causing me to be loopy, and not all there 99.9% of the time
ummm
i love my life?

alright well im going to bed before i pass out . im tired

night

still sick

yeah. and i feel like complete crap
like everything sorta went wrong this weekend haha
and im exahusted.
and...i caught a cold.. which isnt good considering i have an extremly low white blood cell count so its REALLY getting to me.
i gotta go though .. school.. well.. atleast for a couple hours if i can make it that long


im so tired.
im sick too.
yuck

Sickk

Yeah
This is bad.
haha
I feel horrible today.
Earlier was better than it is now, i took a little nap. But it seemed to make it worse, because when i woke up it was like blahhhhhhhhh
I have a horrible headache, body aches, fever, i feel like im going to throw up
umm
yeah
but im going out to eat with my mom because she thinks i should eat something....
but idk what im going to eat...
and i look like death.
im pale. and i have huge bags under my eyes, my hair is like a mess, and im too tired to get dressed....
yuck
i hope i feel better tomarrow. :/

Blood Tests... YAY!

So
alright
gofa is offially over :'(
I have my performance on youtube!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1FVZVcf4AE&feature=channel
theres one of our performances.
sorry for the out of tunes, there cellos.. what can you expect?
ALRIGHT to get down to business.
The agenda = my blood tests again

WBC=1.8 normal=4.0-9.1
RDW=21.6 normal =12.3-14.5
RBC= 3.43 normal=3.91-5.26
Platelets= 123 (WOO THEY WENT UP!!..but still low)- normal=194-349
Neutrophils= .8 ..normal= 1.5-5.6
Lymphs (WOAH THEY ARE LOW??!?! NORMALLY THEY ARE HIGH!)- .8 normal =1.1-3.1
Hemoglobin= 10.4 normal 11.7-15.0
Hematocrit= 30.3 normal =34.8-43.5


Alright so there ya go.
OH AND
I DEVELOPED
"Slight Poikilocytosis" and "Moderate Anisocytosis"
Which both basically mean that my red blood cells are shapped funny and are not doing what they are supposed to. Apparently its common in cattle?
haha...
This week has been better than last... but still not good. I was having problems breathing yesterday right before school ended and i was trying to call my mom to tell her to call my doctor but she wouldnt ansewr lol
I did my injections today, around... 3? i made my cousin watch, she was truely disgusted, then amazed how i could actually stick my self with a needle.
But i can feel the side effects as i type. not looking forward to tomarrow.. i can feel its oging to be a brutal week ahead.
Oh dear
Well i hope everyone has a good presidents day if i dont update sooner!
Love you all!

GOFA weeeek

Yup stands for, Give once for all.
Its amazing
i love gofa week!
PRETTY much i have no class this week. haha
its like.. spring break for me?
LOVE.it.
ha
no updates on my illness.
Still feel like crap, but not as bad as last week. THANK. god.
last week was bad.
Im dizzy. Alot.
like a lot a lot.
And ill have a fever. but thats about it.
so thats good.
Ive been trying to get a hold of my doctor now, for two days, and his assistant is out of town or something and i need to schedule another appointment soon because of the fact i still feel like crap, and they said to call if i did, and they need to approve of my medications with the specialty pharamacy and stuff, and i dont know if im going in on friday- (this friday) -yet for blood tests.idk!
yay!
anyways
if i do..ill have to make it early in the morning because...if i go at 1pm my normal time id miss the buy outs for gofa, which im hoping to get into best of the talent show!! woop woop.
But w.e
ill hopefully schedule it early early, so i get to miss my ... 1st hour lol. then ill have the rest the day off :D
alrighty well ill update later.

Blood Tests

Ah so theres FINALLY an explanation that has been written down why i feel like crap!
ANEMIA.
"Childs results show no significant change. Anemia is slightly worse. Call us if you have been feeling more tired"


AH yeah im going to be calling on monday to bitch and moan how horrible this past week has been . really.
it sucked.
anyways heres an update on the blood tests or w.e

WBC = 2.3 normal = 4.0-9.1
RDW= 23.0 nomal = 12.3-14.5
RBC= 3.56 normal = 3.91-5.26
Platelets= 111 normal = 194-349
Nuetrophils= .9 normal= 1.5-5.6
Monocytes= 11 normal = 3-10
Lymphs= 48 normal =20-47
Hemoglobin= 10.6 normal =11.7-15.0
Hematocrit = 31.2 normal =34.8-43.5


Those were from last week or w.e
This weeks that i had taken today will probably be worse due to i feel worse lol
GREATT.
and i got stuck 3 times again before she got it :(
it hurt
lol
Ill update later.

eh update i guess

Eh so its tuesday.im starting to feel a TINY bit better.
My ribs are still killin me.
And im extremly tired
I did not sleep at all lastnight i took that 4 hour nap after school and that was it.
So im dead beat tired
on my way to school soon :'(
Not excited.
I really am actually starting to worry if these symptoms im expierencing are normal? idk they just keep gettin worse and worse
but today ..maybe because im so sleep deprived im not focusing on the symptoms from my meds idk.

anyways w.e
i have orchestra tonight... try outs for the crucible tomarrow after school, and a newspaper meeting after school, then i also have the taco house tomarrow night for GOFA.
im really excited!
But i hope i feel better...
tomarrow will be a good day.. as of ..events" wise happening. today just sorta sucksssss
I really dont want to go to orchestra but the pieces we were handed out are VERY hard, we have straight 16th notes for like 4 pages straight of many different finger patterns its CRAZY. and its extremley fast, but once i get it im sure it will be really fun
This upcoming concert .. its our spanish concert for MVO, and its normally my favorite, i love that style of music for orchestra, that or i love russian music too...and no not because im russian.
Anyways.. tonights practice will be exahusting and hard. booo :'(

Painful

So my side effects have not worn off yet. and im suprised it almost seems as if there getting worse.
all i want to do is sleep, i get so exhausted, and it really sucks because i slipped on the ice last night and so im actually sorta worried i might have damaged one or two of my ribs because theres realy bad bruising and it reallllllllllly hurts still, and i just woke up from a... 4 hour nap.
but im going back to sleep after i type this.
But anyways, i think this might be the worst ive ever been. Im actually pretty positive i might miss school tomarrow if i dont start feeling better.
i feel like complete crappy
it hurts to breathe again
i feel like im going to throw up
im hungry but my taste buds make my food taste absolutly nasty
i have a raging headache
i havea fever
my body is in complete agony.
okay.
im going back to bed.

Not much updates

Hola everyone.
Not much has been going on
had a doctors appointment today
got the blood drawn and crap for the kidneys
sucked . x10.
ummm
Idk i took my injections today around 10amish-
and i feel the side effects right now
im suprised that i got them so soon, for the past couple weeks i wont get them till i wake back up and stuff.
It really sucks actually. haha i dont really want to be awake for this!
My liver actually hurts. i know its sorta odd to think of it but it actually hurts, and it has been for a couple days now, but today its been really bad like. thats all i can think about haha.

anyways ill update later

Last high school semester.. ever

hola to all.
Not much has gone on.
My white blood cell count is going up!!!!!!!
:D
so im feeling a little better already!
ITS amazing how much it changes things. haha
So my needles that i use have these "safe"guard things on them, so after i use a needle i snap on the safe guard and for the past .. 2months they have been orange, and this months the safeguards are green!!!!!! MY FAVORITE COLOR!!
haha
i was truley excited to stickmyself on saturday morning since i was at a lockin and i didnt want to fele like crap and stuff.
but i should have just done it on friday, the side effects didnt kick in till later today.
So i was annoyed, because ill still feel like crap tomarrow.
YAY!
haha.
ugh.
My cousin moved in with me on thursday.
Exciting
Im gonna see if she reads this blog and then see what she says. haha
Alright well... tomarrow i start my last high school semester ... EVER!! :D
yayyyyy
haha

Sereneee

Hello All.
Not much updates.
No updates on the liver/kidneys or anyhting.
Just checking in.
Everything has been going alot better at homewise.
So im glad things are ... better.
I didnt have orchestra tonight because i had to study for finals >_<
But i ended up reading a book instead, and then i took a bout... an hour and a half bath ... i ended up just sitting there , well more like laying. I just thought about life. Ive thought about life before, and stuff, of course, But i was just realizing how much i have really gone threw since august. I have been threw so much, and i keep trying to hide like its not there or something? I try to pretend everything is okay, and i try to put a smile on at school to hide everything what i really feel. But it really hit me .. when i was just laying there.
Idk it was an odd feeling.
Anyways, My medicine should FINALLY come in the mail tomarrow. Its been a rough road for the meds to make it ALLLLL THE WAY from plymouth to my house :p.
Idk what happend there but w.e
Anyways. I guess ill just go lay in my bed and think about life more. lol

Night!

oh.. uhh.. happy new president day! obama! ....anyways.... im republican :p
oh well. I cant change it. lol

Treatment

So yeah i injected last night
i dont feel that bad today- im really tired.
but thats about it, my joints are a little bit achy.
i had work from 3:30-7
so that wasnt too bad i had a customer tell me i looked really tired haha
i was like
"ah yeah im tired haha"

oh well.
im listening to lenka- the show.
i love her!
I love the song my heart will go on- you all know itf rom titanic, but i was watching swedens got talent, and zara larrsson sings it amazingggg shes only 10 years old.
i love herrrr.
i want her to come to the states!

anyways.
i got to go to the one acts- but i was on real thin ice i guess.
i made ammends with my foreign exchange student so thats all cleared up.
im just exahusted.
im happy i have tomarrow off.
no school due to MLK day.
woot .woot.

Could it get any worse?

Yeah.
So, things have NOT been going well.
I got grounded for.. i dont even know what i got grounded for.
Something about my foreign exchange student, shes not happy to be here, and its my fault so im grounded and i still dont know if i can go to the one acts. which is bad, last night i had to tell my whole cast that i mgiht not be there, and i had to find replacements JUST IN CASE.
and its just extremely stressful
As for the doctors appointment, it went fine. it was very long..
I know for a fact, im not stopping treatment, they are lowering the dosages though because the side effects are getting worse. They are really worried about my white blood cell count, so im back at the doctors getting blood drawn once a week instead of just once a month or so.
I might get prescribed sleeping pills, because i can never sleep unless i was up for a REALLLLLY long time, which has been that way for the past week, but it will go back to my normal schedule ... tomarrow.
I havent taken my injections yet this week because i didnt want to feel like crap foor the one acts, so ill take it late tonight. or it depends.. it depends if my mom will let me go to the one acts.
idk.

Im just really stressed out, physically i feel alright today... so far.
But emotionally im extremely worn out, i feel used, and its probably just my meds and stuff, but its really getting to me. idk. alright ill update later.

Stressed

I survived the first night of the one acts.
I got into huge trouble for not driving my exchange student home
I broke my phone
I feel like crap
I am annoyed with like 4 people at school to the point where i want to physically hurt them.
I cant stand this anymore.
I want it to end..




I hope that was emo enough for you guys.
night.


oh ps. i have a doctors appointment in maplewood tomarrow with dr. rank.

Mini-updates

Yeah not much has been going on since my last update.
my doctors appt is this friday
im actually sorta nervous.
idk
This is hell week for me- literally haha because for the one-acts and stuff.
Tomarrow is opening night!
Hopefully all goes well.
Sorta nervous not really.
As of how physically ive been feeling
eh
same ol' same ol' aka gets worse everyday.
lol
My back where my kidneys are are starting to hurt and the area wher emy liver is hurts a good 85% of the time, uh, I still get the wind knocked out of me doing the littlest things
weve been having problems with my meds too, like for delievery and stuff, i called in my meds... last week and they have to get approved by my physician- but the thing is .. i have 7 physicans on my team. so, they were checking in with the wrong physician that normally signs off on the meds, and its all a mess.
and we just got a childrens hospital bill bankin up to pretty much 4,000$
and my med cost went up, and my copays to each doctor visit went up , and now the thing with my kidneys- thats a whole nother issue that im gonna have to deal with now- idk whats going on to tell you the truth.
I dont receieve any information.
nada.
and im going to my doctors appointment alone. and i dont wanna go alone. ill go with a stranger if i had to.
i just idk
bah.
alright. ill update later.
im tired. as heck.
ive been spending 12+ hour days at school.

ONE more thing

There were several comments on my Blood Test results
and one of them
was saying that im Developing a "CKD"
aka .
Chronic Kidney Disease



YAY
maybe it explains why ive been like. dying.

Eh. just some updates

Hola.
So not much has been going on
Ive been super busy with the one acts at our school- the performances are this week, so "Hell Week" started .... yesterday, we had a very long practice-from like 9am -3pm
Physically wise-
I just feel like im getting weaker and weaker every day.
I feel like im just losing myself.
Everything hurts, all the time.
Im still having trouble breathing
I have a doctors appointment ... this... friday.
So i will bring up a whole list of things that i need to go over with .. him/her
I have another doctor that im meating.. Dr. Romine?
idk if its a he or a she. haha
But i get to miss some school for it. so hey. thats great.
But anyways i got more blood test results back

as of 12/29/08
WBC= 2.0 normal range is 4.0-9.1
RDW=21.9 normal range is 12.3-14.5
Platlets=129 normal range is 194-349
Neutrophils (absolute)= .7 normal range is 1.5-5.6
Neutrophils = 35 normal range is 40-70
MCH=27 normal range is 27.3-31.7
Lymphs= 54 normal range is 20-47
Hemoglobin= 11.1 normal range is 11.7-15.0
Hematocrit= 33.8 normal is 34.8-43.5



so yeah those are those.
The treatment is definetly working, its a bitch.
but atleast its working.
So i just gotta stay positive i guess.

Stressful

Ive had the most stressful week of my life it feels like
It really feels like everything is falling apart.
Its like, event after event after event.
Some of its personal, and some of its school ,and some of its my health
So i guess ill skip the first two, and go on to the health portion
Ive been getting really sick latley, like Im now using an inhaler because i cant get enough oxygen, and i get dizzy extremly easy now, I barley have to move and ill be ready to pass out.
My stomach is still upset- it has been upset since christmas eve.
I really havent had a "Good" day in a real long time again.
Im hoping things get better.
I had a job interview yesterday for a nursing assistant, i think i got the job, but they have to check the policy with age, and when i would be able to attend my .. 24 hours of training. haha since im in school and stuff it makes it very hard. so i might just have to wait till the summer idk,
But anyways, its 7:53 AM, so i gotta get moving for school. I really wasnt going to go today- BUT i have play rehersal after school- that is mandatory pretty much, and if i didnt go to school my mom said i couldnt go to that.
I just hope i dont get real sick during the day, and i hope i can keep my head up with out passing out from lack of oxygen.
Alright. update later prolly

BAD. bad bad bad

Yeah. SOOO.
i dont think im stopping treatment.
My last day of the drugs as of now is October 28th 2009.

I want to cry just saying that date.
I have given up so much
My body for one, I feel like ive lost connection with my close friends,
I get so emotional over the littlest things
I just idk.
gah.
I want to cry so bad right now
I thought i got off the hook because i was in remission
But apparently its only in remission for now, it could come back twice as hard in a month or so

I feel like i should be on a couch with a big bowl of ice cream and watching a sappy love story while i cry my eyes out.

Anyways.
Ill post more depressing blogs later.